are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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