I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
