Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
