Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
