I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I want is dick and wine.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize