The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
