This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
