proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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