singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
