You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
