am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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