I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
