last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
