She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
