I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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