don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I just went to clothing optional bar
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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