I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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