Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
