piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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