Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
