Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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