it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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