I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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