so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
