Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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