hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
