What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
