Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
