i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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