Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
