is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Hippo gnu deer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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