ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
