It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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