what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
