why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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