I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
