I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
