Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
