This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize