Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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