I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
