So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
