well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
