THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
