Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
