think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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