you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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