Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
