i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
