marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
