I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was CRYING into my vagina
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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