And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
