apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I need moral support for this bender
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
