i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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