Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
