i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My penis needs a shock collar
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
