True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
