Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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