I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
