I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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